I’m not sure why or how this happens. I’m sure it has something to do with depression. That’s what my therapist says. I do know that one time it had to do with medication. I was driving home after teaching a class in Salem (OR) and I was along side a big semi-trailer. It occurred to me that it would be so simple to just pull to the right and go under the trailer. It was a freeway, of course. We were driving 60 mph.
I had just begun a new medication. It was intended to help me lose weight. It seems that all the other meds put on weight. I don’t look fat but I am over-weight. My pants are way too tight. I was really hopeful. But losing weight by suicide was not what I had in mind!